


Let Go Entirely

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Snupin Santa Fest, Threesome - M/M/M, Veritaserum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-21
Updated: 2005-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-02 07:50:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has difficulty asking for what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Go Entirely

**Author's Note:**

> Written for aperfectscream in Snupin Santa Fest 2005.

Harry pounded down the road in the early morning light. He'd left Luna's flat in a hurry after their latest non-argument; filled with irritation and a deep physical need to _do_ something, he'd decided to run the twelve kilometers from her flat to 12 Grimmauld Place. The familiar rhythm of foot on pavement brought him some calm, and he slowly stopped thinking about Luna's insistence that he make his own choices rather than expecting her to make them for him. _Whatever she means by that._

He banked around the corner onto Grimmauld Place and leapt over the low stone fence around Number 12's front garden, then went to the back door and let himself in. Though the kitchen was empty, someone was already up. The morning's _Prophet_ lay unfolded on the table, the teakettle was burbling happily on the stovetop, and a tall glass of pumpkin juice sat on the countertop, its sides beginning to bead with condensation in the warm room. Thirsty from his workout, Harry grabbed the juice and drank it down in one long go, then put the glass into the sink and turned to head upstairs for a shower.

The _Prophet_ 's sporting headlines distracted him for a moment. Apparently, Puddlemere had traded Oliver in a complex four-team swing that involved the Harpies, the Cannons, and Harry's own Kestrels. He unfolded the section to read the full story. As he read, he frowned at an unusual throb in his head. The last thing he needed today was a headache.

"Deep in thought, Harry?" Remus entered the kitchen, still wearing his dressing gown over a set of dark green flannel pajamas. "Didn't expect you home so early."

"Luna kicked me out again," Harry said tersely. "Don't know why I put up with it. The sex isn't even that good. I liked the run home better, and now I've got Oliver naked in my changing room to deal with." His hand flew to his mouth as he spoke the final words. "I didn't just say that, Remus, did I?"

Remus chuckled. "Afraid you did, Harry. You're not usually that blunt. We can chalk it up to post-exercise euphoria."

"Potter being blunt about something? Imagine my surprise," Snape said silkily as he came into the kitchen behind Remus. "Harry's never spoken his mind about anything since I've known him."

"Sod off, Snape," Harry muttered.

Snape chuckled and crossed to the sink, then turned back with a frown. "Where's my juice?"

Harry looked up. "Oh, the glass on the counter? I drank it when I came in. Sorry - I was thirsty."

Snape glanced quickly at Remus, then turned to the icebox while obviously stifling a smile. "Not a problem, Potter. Not for me, at any rate."

Harry looked at Remus. "What is he on about?" He began to massage his temples as the strange almost-headache intensified.

"Do you think I should regrow my moustache, Harry?"

"What? Why the hell would you ask me such an inane question at this hour of the morning? Ask Snape. He's the one who has to kiss you with it, if you decide to wear a small dead hedgehog on your upper lip again." Harry's eyes widened as he listened to himself, and he turned desperately to Snape. "Severus, what's happening? What the hell was in that juice?"

Chuckling, Snape opened a small vial and tipped two drops into his juice, then drank. "How soon they forget, Remus."

"Indeed," Remus laughed. "Harry, think. Severus was a double agent during the War. Don't you remember the precautions he had to take?"

" _Veritaserum?_ Why the hell did you give me Veritaserum?"

"I didn't _give_ Veritaserum to you, Potter," Snape said acerbically. "You drank my juice, which happened to have my daily dose in it."

"Fuck, Severus! The War is over, you great bloody bat! Can't you accept that and just get on with things instead of keeping up precautions that aren't going to be needed ever again?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You left Miss Lovegood's flat in rather a hurry, I see. You have generally managed better control of your temper over the past few years, even when under the influence of potions or spells."

"Fuck you, Severus." Harry slumped back in his chair. "Fine. Luna kicked me out. Says I don't know what I want."

"Do you?" Remus perched on the table, looking down at him.

Harry opened his mouth, then slammed it shut, biting his tongue for good measure.

Severus crossed the room, leaning back against the table on Harry's other side. "You can't resist it, Potter. It's full-strength and full-dose Veritaserum, and I made it. You'll chew your tongue bloody and still tell us what we ask."

Harry glared up at him. "You enjoy this, don't you, you sadistic bastard. You _like_ watching me squirm."

"Of course." Snape shrugged. "I always have. You know that." He smiled darkly at Harry. "Answer Lupin's question, Potter."

Harry's head dropped onto his arms, crossed atop the _Prophet_ 's sport section. He whispered into the bend of his elbow, hoping that the potion would accept that as an answer even if the older men couldn't hear what he'd said. He could feel a hand stroking his hair, sliding down to his shoulder.

"Harry," Remus said, "I don't want to cast Sonorus on you, but I will."

Harry turned his head to stare at Remus in disbelief. "I knew Snape was a sadist, but _you_? Gods, Remus, just let me take a shower and lock myself in my room for a few hours, and quit toying with me."

"We're not toying," said Remus. "Luna says you should decide what you want, yes? Well, Severus and I feel the same way. Let it go, Harry." His hand still on Harry's shoulder, Remus pushed him back in his chair so that both he and Severus could see Harry's face.

"Lupin and Miss Lovegood both have a point," Severus mused. "It is not entirely clear what you do want, Potter, if you're aware of it yourself."

"I know," Harry said hoarsely. "I just don't want to say it."

"Oh, but you do." Snape's voice was dark and liquid, and Harry wondered for a brief distracted moment if there was some spell to make a voice into a tactile sensation. "You want to tell us, Harry. The Veritaserum makes sure of that. You want to, and you will. Let it go, Potter. Let go entirely."

Harry opened his mouth to spit the same tired invective back at Snape, but found that he couldn't. Instead, his lips kept shaping words he didn't want to say, and he felt himself turning bright red with the effort of restraining himself.

"Just say it, Harry. You can Obliviate us later if it will make you feel better." Remus reached for his hand, holding it lightly.

"Don't lie to the boy," Snape muttered.

Remus glared at Snape. "Shut up, Severus. Don't make this any harder for Harry than it already is."

"It wouldn't be so hard if you hadn't drugged me and forced me to say it," Harry shouted.

"For the love of Merlin, Potter," Snape said, exasperated. "Do you want us to leave the room? Answer that."

"No," Harry whispered, stunned at the realization.

"Good," said Remus, squeezing his hand. "Just say it and get it over with. What do you really want, Harry?"

Harry took a deep breath and dropped his gaze, watching Remus's fingers thread into his own. "You," he said softly. "Both of you, actually. Rather hard to choose." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Remus and Severus nod briefly at each other, Remus with a rather wolfish grin. Harry considered the odd warring sensations in his mind: relief at having obeyed the Veritaserum clashing against the bone-deep embarrassment of confession without the assurance of absolution.

"Go take a shower, Harry," Remus said cheerfully, dropping Harry's hand. "Severus and I have a few things to talk about."

"You're just going to let me say that and let it lie there on the kitchen table and not say anything?" Harry looked at them both in disbelief. _The hardest thing I've ever done - and that includes killing Voldemort - and now I'm being tucked off to the shower and practically **ignored?**_ He opened his mouth to argue some more, but stilled immediately when Snape's long stained finger pressed against his lips.

"What precisely would you like us to say, Harry? You may take the lack of screaming as a level of acquiescence, if not relief that you've finally admitted it." Snape removed his finger, a small smirk on his own lips. "Certainly, it gives one hope that you might cease the endless mooning about." He turned to Remus. "No offense at the euphemism, I hope."

"None taken," Remus said with a grin. "Shower, Harry. Now."

Harry got up, then looked at Severus. "I want you to say that I'm not utterly mad. That there might be a chance."

"I apologize - I hadn't meant to ask you a direct question." He arched an eyebrow. "You're no madder than usual, Potter. Is that sufficient?"

Harry gaped at him, unused to Severus and apologies in the same thought. "It'll do." He grinned tentatively at them, then left the room and vaulted up the stairs three at a time.

In the bath, Harry stripped off as quickly as he could, and ran the water until it was steaming. He stepped under the water, pulling the curtain closed behind him, and stood under the pounding stream until his heart slowed a bit. The water soaked his hair and rushed past his ears as his thoughts whirled. _I said it. I told them. They didn't hex me, or laugh - much - or send me back to Luna._ He rubbed the soap slowly across his body, wondering what would happen next, if anything. As he rinsed off, he felt a cold draft strike his back and then the rough scratch of a washrag sliding across his shoulders. He flinched at the surprising touch and began to turn, but was stopped by a firm pressure on his shoulder.

"Stay there, Harry," Remus said quietly. "You only need to say something if you want me to stop."

Harry laughed at the very thought, and turned back to face the wall again as Remus slowly scrubbed his back. The coarse terry of the washrag scraped his shoulders thoroughly, then moved down across his ribs and followed his spine to the flare of his hips. Harry stifled a moan as the tip of the cloth trailed across his arse.

"All right, Harry? Want me to stop?"

"No," Harry choked out.

Remus laughed and snaked one hand around Harry's waist, pulling him close as he began to wash Harry's chest. Harry gasped as he realized Remus was hard against him. "Remus?"

"Hm?"

Harry forgot what he'd been planning to say, and settled for grinding back against Remus. He yelped as Remus pinched his nipple in retaliation, then shivered as Remus began to kiss his neck and shoulders. Soon, the washrag dropped to the floor and Remus took Harry's cock in a firm grasp, stroking slowly in a rhythm matched by his hips rocking against Harry's arse. "Remus - don't - over too soon...."

"Sssh," Remus whispered. "Let yourself go, Harry. It won't be the last time today. I promise."

At that reassurance, Harry whimpered and let himself ride on the sensation of an unfamiliar hand on his cock. He began to thrust into Remus's fist, speeding the pace. Remus whispered in his ear, a string of words that was nearly a growl. Harry was grateful for the strong arms anchoring him as he came, shooting helplessly onto the tiled wall and sagging back against the other man.

Remus rinsed Harry and the wall clean, then reached around him to turn off the water. He pulled the curtain open enough to reach for a towel and began to dry Harry off. Suddenly, the curtain opened all the way, and Harry was startled by the inrush of cold air.

"Satisfactory, Mr. Potter?" Snape stood on the bathmat, holding more towels.

"For starters," Harry said hoarsely.

Remus took one of Snape's towels and began to wipe himself dry. "Severus dislikes shower sex," he said to Harry.

"Someone's arse is always getting cold," Snape said, rolling his eyes. "It's fun for the person under the water, but that's about it. I can't imagine the poor bastard who agrees to a threesome in the shower and then has to be out on the end, wet and cold and no hot water in sight."

Harry grinned. "Never thought about it like that."

"Of course not," Snape said. "I'll wager that you took all the hot water for yourself just now, as well." He took the towel from Remus and began to rub his back.

"I didn't miss it," Remus said, leaning back into Snape's touch. "Wasn't in here long enough to get cold."

"Sorry," said Harry, blushing.

"No, no," Remus said. "That was intended to be fast, Harry. Take the edge off, so to speak." He climbed out of the tub and let Snape wrap a fresh towel around his waist, then offered a hand to Harry. "Come on."

Harry looked questioningly at both men as he accepted his own clean towel. "What now?"

"Now," Remus said, "we ask you a direct question and you get what you want." He and Severus turned, leaving the room. Harry scrambled after, following the two older men down the hall to their bedroom.

In the bedroom, Remus gestured for Harry to climb onto the large bed. Harry shoved the pillows around until he was comfortably ensconced on his stomach, still drifting in a happy post-orgasmic cloud. Remus and Severus were near the wardrobe, Severus still in his shirt and trousers and Remus in only the low-slung towel. Harry watched, entranced, as Remus slowly unbuttoned Snape's shirt, exposing a widening slice of pale skin dusted with crisp black curls. When the shirt was fully undone, Remus untucked it and pushed it back off Snape's shoulders; Snape plucked each cuff over his hands and flung the shirt carelessly toward a waiting armchair. Harry tried to stifle a gasp at the body Snape had been hiding under those baggy robes - he wasn't as muscled as Harry, but he was lithe and lean, his trousers balanced on pronounced hipbones.

"We have an audience," Snape said to Remus with an amused chuckle.

"Of course we do." Remus leaned in and kissed his lover, resting his hands at Snape's waist. Severus wrapped his arms around Remus, extending the kiss and pulling him close. Eventually, Remus broke the kiss and stepped back. "Still all right, love?"

"Of course," Snape answered. "Are you?"

"Most certainly. It's not every day that mutual fantasies can be fulfilled, after all." Remus winked at Snape, then turned to Harry. "Direct question, Harry. What do you want?"

Harry felt the Veritaserum compulsion washing over him even as he opened his mouth to answer. "Could you - um - take off his trousers?" Not good enough: his lips were still shaping unspoken words as he bit them together.

"Of course he _could_ , Potter." Snape's voice was mildly exasperated. "Remus asked you what you wanted, not what he could do. Stop trying to fight it."

Harry blushed and took a deep breath, then spoke as quickly as he could. He'd been planning this answer since the shower, and just hoped that he could get through it without stumbling. "I want you two to kiss again, and then I want Remus to take off your trousers, and then I want you both to come over here...." He paused for a breath, and then finished his thought, nearly all in one word: "...and then I want to suck your cock and I want Remus to fuck me and then I probably want to disappear under a rock or something but at least it will have happened, you know?"

By the end of this, both Remus and Severus were laughing. Severus leaned down and kissed Remus briefly. "You heard the man, Lupin. Get on with it."

Remus, grinning, quickly unbuckled Snape's belt and flicked his trouser buttons open while Snape kicked off his shoes. Remus grasped belt, trousers, and pants all at once and pulled the handfuls of cloth and leather down as he sank to his knees, letting Snape step out of each pant leg. He pressed a quick kiss to each ankle as he rolled Snape's socks off, then stood up again. Snape reached over and nudged the towel, which obediently fell to the floor at Lupin's feet. The two turned to Harry, who was still sprawled across the bed watching them, then crossed to the bed. Lupin sank down to Harry's left and Snape to Harry's right.

"All right so far?" Remus stroked Harry's back, letting his hand slip down to cup Harry's arse.

"Yeah," Harry said, rolling onto his back and sitting up. "I want to look at you both. I won't touch, if that's a problem."

"Potter, you expressed an intent to suck my cock and to have Lupin fuck you through the bed. I hardly think a bit of touching will be a problem."

"Yes, sir," Harry said with a grin. "You first, then." He turned to Snape, stretched out along the edge of the bed. Snape's lean torso was matched by his long pale legs, also dusted with fine black hair; his nipples and cock were surprisingly vivid, dark rosy pink against the whiteness of his skin. Harry slid his hand across Snape's stomach and down across his hip, then back up again to tangle into his hair. He leaned down to kiss Snape, intending just a gentle press of lips, but was startled to be caught up in a strong embrace and drawn down to lie across Snape's chest.

Somewhere, Harry heard a drawer open and close. The mattress shifted underneath them as Remus spooned up behind Harry, caressing his back and hips as Snape continued to kiss him. The onslaught of sensation had Harry fully hard again, and he wriggled just enough to get some friction against Snape's own hardening cock. Remus chuckled softly in his ear as he licked long lazy paths across Harry's neck, nipping a neat line of bites down the knobs of his spine.

Harry had had no idea that Snape was so talented with his mouth in areas other than insults and lecturing. Certainly, Harry had never kissed anyone who had an actual repertoire of kiss techniques, from lazy nibbles to something Harry could only describe as tongue-fucking. He was so wrapped up in trying to figure out what Severus might do next that he was only half-aware of Remus nudging his right leg to hook up over Snape's hip.

The slick fingers probing his arse caught his attention, though, and he stopped kissing Snape long enough to look back over his shoulder. Remus caught his gaze, amber eyes focused and concentrated, and smiled reassuringly. "Go on, Harry. Don't mind me."

Harry shrugged, dazed from the kisses, and turned back to Snape. Clearly, looking at Remus could wait. The slight break had given Harry a few ideas, and he leaned in to claim Severus again, this time taking charge and exploring Snape's mouth as thoroughly as his own had been mapped just moments ago. He could feel Snape's cock, now fully hard, against his thigh; Harry's own erection throbbed in time with the careful thrusts of Remus's fingers, stretching and opening him. At one particularly deep thrust, Harry moaned into Snape's mouth, then broke the kiss and buried his face in Severus's neck.

"Relax, Potter." Severus's tone was somewhere between friendly and professorial, and Harry could almost feel it pouring across him in dark rivers of molten copper. "Let Remus touch you." He held Harry securely against his chest.

"Yes, Harry," Remus said quietly. "Let me touch you. Spread open a bit more - yes, like that. You're beautiful like this, Harry, draped over Severus. You're not the only one who's wanted this, you know."

Harry raised his head an inch or two, then let it drop back onto Snape's shoulder. Severus chuckled. "Oh yes, Harry. Remus has harbored most inappropriate desires for some time."

"Be truthful, Severus," Remus said as he pulled his fingers out of Harry and shifted to kneel between Harry's open, bent legs. "Harry's done us the favor of being honest. Surely we can do the same."

"Very well, though I refuse to admit any interest until you'd gone off and grown up a bit, Potter."

Harry laughed at that. "I fantasized about you in class," he whispered.

"For Merlin's sake, Potter, don't tell me that."

"And during Quidditch games, and detentions, and in the Great Hall...." Harry's voice trailed off as he felt Remus pushing slowly into him.

Severus steadied Harry's hips with his hands. "Ignore him, Potter. Keep talking, preferably about something other than your adolescent fantasies."

"Remus too," Harry said, trying to keep his voice steady. "During Order meetings - would watch, and wonder, and then the two of you - _God_ , Remus, _harder_...."

Remus, now completely buried in Harry's arse, laughed softly. "Move up, Severus. This is going to kill my back in a minute if Harry doesn't raise up." Snape let his arms fall away from Harry, then pushed himself up to a sitting position against the headboard as Remus held Harry's hips and urged him to his knees.

Harry leaned back against Remus for a moment, letting himself be held, then opened his eyes and grinned lazily at Snape, who was stroking his cock idly as he watched them. "We're taking things rather out of order here."

"You're thinking too much," Severus said, spreading his legs apart.

Harry squeezed Remus's hands tightly, then leaned slowly forward and put his hands outside Snape's hips, swiping his tongue across the head of Snape's cock. Abruptly, he slid almost the entire length into his mouth. He bobbed up and down for a moment, then moved his arms inside Snape's thighs and settled onto his elbows, using one hand to wrap firmly around the base of Snape's cock. Soon, he'd established a rhythm of sucking and squeezing that had Severus thrusting up into his mouth.

As Snape groaned and Harry sucked, Lupin matched Harry's pace with slow easy thrusts. He had a tight grip on Harry's hips, letting Harry rock between Snape's cock and his own. "Do you know how gorgeous you are like this, Harry?" Remus's voice was husky. "All golden and fit, your arse tight around my cock, Severus deep in your mouth, both of you making the most wonderful noises as you suck him -"

"Remus is prone to talking during sex," Severus panted.

Harry let Snape's cock slip from his mouth, and glanced up along his former teacher's long gleaming body. "Shut him up, will you? I'm close enough as it is." He bent back to his task, trying to ignore his own cock's imminent eruption.

Severus sat up a bit. "Come here, damn you," he said, reaching across Harry for Remus.

Remus leaned obediently forward, bracing one hand against the mattress and keeping the other on Harry's hip. Their mouths met just over Harry's head; he could hear them kissing as he swirled his lips and tongue across Severus's shaft and balls. A groan escaped Severus, and Harry grinned to himself, speeding up his pace.

"Close, Potter," Snape bit out, falling back against the headboard and wrapping his fingers into Harry's hair. Harry laughed, his mouth full of Severus, and sucked even harder, until Snape cried out and came, pulsing into Harry's mouth. Harry swallowed the bitter mouthful and licked Snape clean.

With Severus cared for, Remus abandoned restraint. He grabbed Harry's hips again, holding tightly enough that Harry thought he'd probably have finger-shaped bruises the next day, and began to fuck him in earnest. "Did you like that, Harry, sucking Severus? Do you know how hot it is to think about you fantasizing about him, hard under your robes while you pretended to pay attention in class or at meals?"

"About as arousing as the thought of him watching you across the table at Order meetings," Snape said softly, "though not nearly as stunning as the sight of you buried balls-deep in young Master Potter."

Harry whimpered as the two of them talked, the words enough to overwhelm him with sensation and arousal when combined with the steady thud of Remus's cock inside him, stroking deeply. He was fighting orgasm with every breath, hoping to prolong the experience one second more.

"Finish him, Severus," Remus whispered. Snape leaned forward and slipped his hand under Harry's stomach, avoiding any contact until he wrapped his long fingers around Harry's aching cock. One stroke, and Harry was done, spurting over Severus's fingers and moaning in relief. He could feel himself clenching around Remus's cock and for a brief moment wondered if he should try not to, until he gave in and let his head sink to the mattress. Remus needed only a few strokes more to reach his own release, growling as he slammed into Harry and held his hips tightly. Harry could feel each twitch as Remus spilled into him, murmuring his name and Severus's.

The three of them lay together on top of the mattress until Severus raised a hand and _accio_ 'd his wand, casting a cleaning spell and summoning a duvet to cover them. Some wriggling and sleepy argument resulted in Harry's back spooned tightly into Severus, with Remus facing them both and his arm and leg draped atop them.

"Got what you wanted, Harry, or are you going to go find that rock to hide underneath?" Remus kissed him, then smiled.

"Mmmhm," said Harry drowsily. "Want to do it again later." There would be questions to answer, and Luna to face, but somehow he thought she wouldn't be nearly as surprised as he had been. "Promise not to drink your juice again, though." Harry drifted into sleep, surrounded by the comforting sound of Snape and Lupin's quiet laughter.


End file.
